She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
