go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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