My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
