sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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