i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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