I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
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You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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