she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
