READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
