I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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