Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
