U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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