We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
