I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
