there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
