Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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