You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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