How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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