:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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