I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize