Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
