You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
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Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
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He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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