apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
