i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
