I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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