It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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