Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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