Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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