Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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