I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
