If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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