brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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