Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
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I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
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Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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