It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
