did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
