My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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