Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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