The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
