I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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