He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
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