Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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