I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
