I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
