Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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