Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
