Those balls look pretty dangerous.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
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I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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