Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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