Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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