I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
