They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
ok first of all what the fuck
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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