You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize