i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Randomize
