part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I need water and some morals
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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