She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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