That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
