Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
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Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
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i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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