I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!