So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
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I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
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We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out