we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
