the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I showed him my bush... on skype.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
