I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just invented taco cereal.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
