so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
