Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize