theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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