I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
