I wannas sexs uuuuu
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize